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How long should I wait to date after divorce?

Advice21/08/202537 Views

The question

Margaret from Calgary writes: “I’m 58 and recently divorced after 30 years of marriage. My adult children keep giving me conflicting advice about dating again. My daughter thinks I should wait longer, my son says I should get back out there immediately, and I’m honestly terrified of the whole thing. Dating apps? Meeting people in person? I feel completely out of my depth. Should I even be thinking about romance at this stage of life? Any guidance would be much appreciated.”


Your answers

Margaret, first off – there’s no “right” timeline for moving forward after divorce. I remarried at 61 after being widowed, and it was the best decision I ever made. My advice? Start slowly. Join activities you genuinely enjoy – hiking groups, book clubs, volunteer work. If romance happens naturally, wonderful. If not, you’ve enriched your life anyway. The apps can wait until you feel more confident about what you want.

David, 62, Toronto

Oh love, I completely understand that terror! I felt exactly the same way three years ago. Here’s what worked for me: I gave myself permission to just make friends first. No pressure for romance. I joined a local photography class and a gardening club. After about eight months, I felt ready to try online dating, but by then I had a whole new support network and much more confidence. Take your time – there’s absolutely no rush. You’re rebuilding your entire identity, and that takes however long it takes.

James, 59, Boston

Margaret, your children mean well, but this decision is entirely yours to make. I’d suggest focusing on yourself first – rediscover who you are outside of that marriage. Travel if you can, take up new hobbies, reconnect with old friends. Romance may come, but it shouldn’t be the goal right now. You’re not too old for love, but you deserve to love yourself first. Give it at least a year, then see how you feel.

Susan, 64, Liverpool

Darling, I met my current partner on a dating app at 61, and we’ve been blissfully happy for three years now! But here’s the key – I was very clear about what I wanted and didn’t want. No games, no pretending to be someone I wasn’t. The beauty of dating at our age is that we know ourselves better. My practical advice: if you do try online dating, be honest in your profile, meet only in public places, and trust your instincts. But only when YOU feel ready, not when others think you should be.

Robert, 56, Winnipeg

I think you should listen to your gut, Margaret. If you’re feeling terrified, maybe it’s too soon. I rushed into dating after my divorce and it was a disaster – I wasn’t emotionally ready and ended up hurting someone lovely. Take time to heal, maybe consider some counseling to work through the divorce, and focus on building a fulfilling single life. Romance at 50+ can be wonderful, but it’s much better when you’re coming from a place of strength rather than loneliness.

Helen, 67, London, UK

Margaret, I started dating again at 63 after my husband passed, and it opened up a whole new chapter of my life. But I waited two years first, and I’m glad I did. My suggestion would be to start with friendship – perhaps through mutual interests or community groups. I met my current companion through a local history society, and we were friends for months before anything romantic developed. There’s something lovely about getting to know someone slowly at our age, without all the urgency of youth. You have time, dear. Use it wisely and kindly to yourself.

Peter, 60, Baltimore

Margaret, you’re not alone. I waited two years after my divorce before even considering dating. Take your time. You’ll know when you’re ready — and that’s the only timeline that matters.

Clara, 60, Edmonton

I spent most of my 50s rediscovering who I was outside of marriage. I didn’t rush into dating — I wandered through art classes, solo travel, and quiet evenings with books. Eventually, I met someone at a community garden. It wasn’t planned. It was peaceful. Romance isn’t a race — it’s a rhythm. Let yours unfold naturally.

Raj, 63, Mississauga

Here’s what helped me:
– I joined a local walking group — no pressure, just fresh air and friendly faces.
– I made a list of what I _wanted_ in a companion, and what I wouldn’t compromise on.
– I tried one dating app, but only after I felt grounded. Dating at our age is different — it’s slower, wiser, and surprisingly fun once you’re ready.

Denise, 57, Ottawa

 Margaret, ignore the noise. Your kids mean well, but this is _your_ life. I jumped into dating too fast after my divorce and regretted it. I wasn’t healed. I wasn’t clear. Give yourself space. When you’re ready, you’ll know — and you’ll be better for it.

Tom, 61, Montreal

Romance after 50 is like a second spring — quieter, but no less beautiful. I met my partner in a painting class. We were both terrible artists, but we laughed. That laughter became friendship. That friendship became love. You don’t need to chase romance. Just open the door to joy, and let it find you.

Eloise, 65, Victoria

Margaret, consider this:
– Emotional readiness matters more than age.
– Dating apps can be useful, but only if you’re clear about boundaries.
– Social hobbies often lead to organic connections.
– Therapy helped me process my divorce before I re-entered the dating world. There’s no formula, but there is a foundation: self-awareness, self-care, and self-respect.

Graham, 58, Calgary

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